Letters of Appreciation

Words matter.  How and what we say to each other matters.

By Melody Nelson

My blog challenge to you is to spend 15 minutes writing a note of appreciation to a family member that comes to your mind.  It might begin to heal a strained relationship, or it might strengthen one that you feel is solid, for what we do and say to each other matters: Words matter.

In my granddaughters’ room is a wall-hanging of my granddaughter’s name connected with words of affirmation like---amazing, fearless, strong, bold, etc.  This was given to her by her very wise Achievement Days leaders.  So, following this thought process, when I would tuck her in at night, I would tell her how amazing she was; how kind and extraordinary.  The next day when we played together, she had the idea of using her whiteboard artboard to write a note to each other of our honest feelings for one another, but, at the spur of the moment.  She drew a line down the middle of the art board and handed me an expo marker and away we wrote.  I cannot begin to explain the feeling that flooded my heart for her when I read her very honest words of love and appreciation, she had for ME.  Many thoughts flooded my heart, and I began to see the importance of writing notes of appreciation for all my family members. 

Going back to the idea that words matter, and how we talk to each other matters, I am reminded of a scripture: "But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your WORDS, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish.  And now, O man, remember and perish not." (Mosiah 4:30, emphasis added)

We can often link the deterioration of a relationship to nasty, mean, or careless conversation.  That relationship perished at least partly because of what was initially said.  No one sets out to destroy relationships, but it can happen very easily if we do not watch our words.  Likewise, we can link strengthened relationships to speaking positively about each other, especially our family members. 

I find it relatively easy to write notes of appreciation to my grandchildren, but I am stretching myself now to write to my children and siblings.  I only wish I had thought of this idea to write my parents a simple note of appreciation years ago when they were still alive (outside of birthdays and Father’s and Mother’s Day)! 

Please accept my challenge and take just 15 minutes to write a note of appreciation today!  It could make all the difference in strengthening or shoring up an important relationship.

Write About Yourself and Share

Family History is just stories of what "NOW" was for your ancestors.  Write about your "NOW" to pass on some of your amazing insights.

By Nathan Shepherd

Family history is personal history.  The stories we read about ancestors today were the experiences, feelings, and thoughts they (or their contemporaries) bothered to share or write about at that time.  Every one of us has *incredible* things to share that will bless generations to come. 

The first step is to write those things down, which can feel daunting when we're doing it "for generations to come."  But more important than writing perfectly is to write in the first place, and there's a lot we can share in just a short period of time.

So…my challenge:  in just 15 minutes, I challenge you to write one paragraph about yourself.  Select as a topic one of the following prompts or select something more personal or customized to what you want to share with your kids, your parents, your siblings, or future generations.  But pick something, and write about it!

Prompts:

• What do you believe?  What is the purpose of life?  The hope?  The joy?
• What is your favorite holiday and why?
• How was your grade school experience unique?
• Who was your favorite elementary school teacher and why?
• Who inspired you as a kid to learn and grow?
• What would you say has been your greatest blessing in life?
• What was your experience with and how did you cope with a transition in your life:  marriage, kids, school, work, etc.?
• What books have you read or movies did you watch this year?  Which did you like the most?
• What about the world gives you the most hope and why?
• What advice do you have for your children, your nieces, or your nephews?  Grandchildren?  Great grandchildren?
• What spiritual experiences have you had?
• What experiences fundamentally changed the way you saw the world?  How did they generate new insights?
• How have you celebrated Pi Day in your life?  :-)

There are lots more sources of prompts out there.  If you'd like some more, David Z- in our Ward recently pointed out to me a fabulous resource for writing autobiographies from one of his previous professors.

But pick one thing and take 15 minutes to write about it.  Then share it!  Send an email, post on Facebook, or just talk to someone on the phone or in person.  Get your message out and strengthen one of your connections.

Finding Living Relatives

Finding and connecting with living relatives can initiate lifelong relationships and fill holes in your family tree.

by Jenny Smith

Have you ever looked at your family tree and noticed a living relative you don’t know? Or maybe you have an empty section of your tree that you wished you could piece together? That’s just what happened to me.  

My parents divorced when I was very young, and after my dad passed away a few years ago I realized that I did not know much about his side of my family. I set out to find those missing pieces and, in so doing, found several living cousins!  I was so excited.  The great thing was it didn’t take me more than 10 minutes to find them, thanks to modern technology and social media.  We connected as a result, and it has been so much fun learning about my dad, his mom, and the whole family over in Wales. I cannot wait to visit! I even found out one of them recently moved to Crystal City!

How did I find and connect with living relatives?

• Using Facebook, I looked through the lists of friends on family members’ accounts and identified people with the surname I was looking to find.  
• Then I sent sent them Facebook messages explaining who I was and that I was very interested in connecting and learning more about my family.  Easy peasy!

What are other ways to find living relatives?

• Talking to family members you do know and asking questions about more distant lines
• DNA – there are many options out there! This takes more than 15 minutes but once you have the results, it doesn’t take long at all to explore names you’ve never seen.

Now that you’ve found them, what should you do?

• Connect, Connect, Connect
• Send emails, Facebook messages, etc
• Send pictures
• Plan a visit
• Add them to your Family Search tree

How to I add living relatives to my family tress in Living Relatives to Family Search?

(Instructions are found at https://www.familysearch.org/help/helpcenter/article/how-do-i-add-living-relatives-to-a-person-in-family-tree.)

NOTE:  Living relatives in your family tree are private and will not be made visible to any other users.  It is important to protect this private information.

General add instructions

• For a new person, you must enter at least a first or last name, indicate the sex of the person, and check deceased or living before you can continue the add process. If a person already exists in the system, and you are the person who created the record, you can find him or her by ID number by clicking Find.

Steps (website)

1. While signed in to FamilySearch.org , click Family Tree.
2. Navigate to the Person page of an immediate family member of the living individual.
3. If you do not see Vitals near the top of the page, click Details.
4. Scroll to the Family Members section.
5. Click the appropriate link (Add Spouse, Add Child, or Add Parent).      
6. Enter information about the individual. Indicate that he or she is living.
7. Click Next. 
8. Click Create Person.

Steps (mobile app)

1. In the Family Tree mobile app, navigate to the Person page of a family member of the living individual.
2. Tap the appropriate tab (Spouses for spouses and children or Parents for parents and siblings).
3. Tap the appropriate link (Add Child, Add Spouse, Add Parent, or Add Sibling).
4. Enter information about the individual, and then tap Continue.
5. Indicate that the person is Living.
6. Enter any birth information, and then tap Continue.
7. Tap Add or Add This Person.

Steps (Family Tree Lite)

1. In Family Tree Lite, navigate to the person page of a family member of the living individual.
2. Click View Family.
3. Click the appropriate link (Add Spouse, Add Child, Add Parent, or Add Sibling). 
4. Enter information about the individual. Indicate that he or she is living.
5. Click Next. 

Setting Family History Goals

by Nathan Shepherd

We can expect many blessings from focusing on the temple and family history, and setting a goal helps us stay focused and be productive.  Try to stretch, but remember to be realistic, too.  

Also remember that family history is just as much about creating memories today and documenting our family lives as it is about digging into the lives of our ancestors.  Planning a vacation, creating photo books, and spending quality time with our loved ones are all great ways to "do" our family history.

So how do we choose a goal in just 15 minutes?  Read through the following list and use it as a jumping-off point.  Either select a goal from it directly or use it to create a custom goal.  Then please share your goal with us!  There is a lifetime of possibilities.

Creating family memories

·       Plan a family vacation to create or stir up memories.

·       Write / formulate a story about [x family history moment – from your life or another] to share with kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, or random strangers

·       Tell kids / nieces / nephews / siblings stories about their family.

·       Establish a personal family creed

o   For example, "Shepherds are…"  "They do…"

·       Identify family traditions you would like to maintain or begin celebrating

o   Ethnic holidays, Ancestral birthdays / migration days / etc.

o   Spiritual or temporal – Talk Like a Pirate Day, Oreo Cookie Day, etc.

·       Cook recipes significant to your ancestors.  Make it a tradition.

Improving temple worship

·       Invite friends and colleagues to the Washington DC Temple Open House.

·       Become worthy to attend the temple and acquire a temple recommend

·       Attend the temple more often

·       Identify ancestors in need of temple work and perform ordinances for them

Capturing family memories

·       Write and upload FamilySearch memories of grandparents and/or other people I knew

·       Photo books for my family

·       Baby books for kids

·       Write down memories of children / stories

o   Where did children names come from?  Tell them about it.

·       Write down silly things my kids / nieces / nephews say

·       Write down the soundtrack of my life (or record it for posterity)

·       Photo document my commute

·       Ask my grandma/grandpa/mom/dad about:

o   What life was like when he/she was [insert your age] years old.

o   Who the oldest person he/she ever met was.

o   Family heirlooms

o   What it was like to raise [x] kids (or THAT kid)

o   What it was like to go to *that* school

o   Dating before and after they met their spouse

·       Identify someone to interview

·       Interview my parents, cousins, grandparents

·       Record voices and videos of living family members (kids, siblings, parents, grandparents)

·       Connect with distant cousins by using DNA for genealogy

Capturing personal memories

·       Keep a journal [somewhat] regularly.

·       Identify pivotal moments in my life and document them

·       Write memoirs

Capturing spiritual epiphanies

·       Write and share my written testimony with my family (or a "Why I believe")

·       Write down blessings, spiritual experiences.

·       Obtain copies of and analyze ancestor patriarchal blessings

o   What seems to have been fulfilled?

o   What might not appear to have been fulfilled?

·       Identify ancestral converts to the gospel and track down conversion stories

·       Collect and aggregate in one place any written ancestral testimonies

·       Identify religious origins of my family (other than the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and explore the religious practices in those faiths

Uncovering family memories

·       Read all the FamilySearch memories of ancestors up to [4] generations back

·       Write narratives about my family ancestors

·       Recruit siblings / cousins to write narratives about ancestors (or about themselves)

·       Identify siblings of my ancestors who died as children and honor their memories by exploring their short lives [imagine the heartache].

Battle-Hardened Ancestors

·       Identify Civil War veterans in my family and visit the local battlefields

·       Identify Revolutionary War, War of 1812, Spanish-American War, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Gulf War, Iraq2, and/or Afghanistan (or other) veterans in my family and uncover their stories of service.

Professional Life

·       Identify any ancestors with federal service and view records at National Archives

·       Identify family members who chose the same profession as me.

·       Chart out the occupations of all ancestors

·       What was it like to be an [occupation] in the 19th century?

o   See industrial schedules of 1810 and 1820

Locals

·       Identify family members who lived nearby and visit their homes / hometowns / graves or other locations significant in their lives

Sickness and Health

·       Identify family members who shared an illness with me or an immediate family member

·       Health survey of ancestors

o   Who died of what?  Notable illnesses?

Emigrants

·       Identify which ancestors immigrated to different countries (e.g., USA) and track down copies of their immigration / naturalization papers.  Chart their path.

·       Explore how my German, Japanese, Italian, French, British, US ancestors weathered WWII in Germany, US, elsewhere.

·       Identify ancestors from another country.

o   Did they fight in WWII?  The 7 Days War?  The War of Austro-Hungarian Succession?  The [insert crazy long ago and far away battle here].

Famous Ancestors

·       Identify famous people with whom I am related (www.relativefinder.org)

·       Conduct research to prove / disprove familial link to [x] person.

Heirlooms

·       Identify heirlooms, record their significance, and make efforts to protect the

Family Lore

·       Corroborate / disprove my family's family history lore:

o   Native American Ancestry, royalty, pioneer stock, outstanding citizens, notorious villains, country of origin / naturalization

Interesting People and Time Periods

·       Collect stories about an ancestor who seems particularly colorful

·       Identify ancestors living through the Great Depression and find out how they managed

Hobbies / Activities

·       Identify if any of my ancestors played sports or participated in other activities while in high school or college

·       Identify hobbies or interests of my ancestors.

Photos, Voice, and Video

·       Collect photos, voice recordings, and video recordings of all possible family members.  Challenge yourself by capturing the best quality memories and then sharing (as appropriate – only the deceased) on Family Search.

COVID-Quarantined Family Interviews

Interview Questions

By Nathan Shepherd

COVID-quarantined family members can be lonely, bored, and tired of reruns.  They probably would much rather talk to you, which can be easily done in 15 minute installments.  Consider reaching out to a cousin, a sibling, a parent, an aunt, a grandparent, or a great uncle and asking one of the following questions (or that burning question you've been dying to know about):

1. Who is active in keeping and preserving our family history?
2. What were some of your favorite traditions observed around Christmas?
3. Can you share a story about when you had a spiritual experience?
4. Can you tell me a story about when you got into some mischief?
5. What were your parents' favorite foods or special things they would cook?
6. What is something your parents [or a relation] often said / used to say?
7. What were some of the rules in your family / house?

Interview Tips:

Write down what you hear or record the conversation.  If recording, ask permission, first.  You can use any of a number of free digital recorders on your phone or another device.

Whomever you interview, greet them warmly when you call them, share with them your interest in learning about family history but your constraint of spending – for now – no more than 15 minutes.  They will probably understand.  For a 15 minute interview, ask them if now is OK but be prepared to schedule another time.  (Typically, we schedule for some other time to allow their memories to resurface a little.)  Listen actively during the interview, asking clarifying questions as needed.  When finished, thank them and let them know of your interest in following up at some later time for another 15 minute installment.

Greetings and Welcome to This Blog!

Greetings and welcome to this blog for the Shirlington Ward in the Mount Vernon Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! 

The intent of this blog is to provide suggestions that will help members strengthen their family bonds in 15 minutes or less.  These could be immediate family, extended family, or ancestral family.  The goal is for this to help people *connect.*

We welcome feedback and suggestions for blog topics.  Please also share your successes (and failures).  Just send a note to nathan.shepherd@gmail.com.